I've come to the realization that my newly formed assumptions about "the homeless" are wrong. I have been fortunate to make connections with some amazing and intelligent individuals over the past few weeks, and because of my luck, I began to assume each homeless person would act that way. I used these unique experiences to form an opinion about homeless people as a whole. I was subconsciously grouping these people together and making judgments. I now realize each person is different, no matter what "group" society says one belongs. A person should be defined by the actions they take, not based on wealth, religion, race, or any other stereotype.
I met Mike outside the sprint store on the corner of Westheimer and Shepherd. I had arrived 15 minutes prior to the store opening so I decided to sit outside on the curb and enjoy Houston’s recent change in weather. I sat with my eyes closed as the sun beamed down my back and cool breeze blew through my hair. My eyes quickly opened as the deep and raspy voice of Mike asked me for change. He appeared to be in his late 50's and wore a navy blue hat in which matched the torn bandana that wrapped his left ankle. He limped closer to me, appearing to be in great pain. I had to make a decision; spend the morning with him and go another day with a broken cell phone, or continue with my already planned day and risk the chance of meeting someone new. He looked like he had gone through a lot in his life and I wanted to know more, so decided my cell phone could wait. I told him about my blog and asked if he would be interested in getting a cup of coffee across the street so we could talk for a while. He agreed, and we walked across the street to Starbucks. As we walked, I noticed that his previous and seemingly excruciating “limp” had become almost nonexistent. Not wanting to believe he made up the injury, I quickly dismissed the thought from my head.
As we sipped our coffee he told me a little about himself, or maybe I should say the person he wanted me to believe he was. He informed me of his 15-year unemployment streak. In my eyes Mike seemed perfectly capable of maintaining a job, but he insisted his “bad ankle” keeps him from working. With almost everything he said, he emphasized his misfortunes and need for money. He seemed very negative and detached. The longer we spoke, the more I was able to see what his true motivation of having coffee with me actually was. He didn’t want to know me, and certainly didn’t want me to get to know him. He wanted my money and was prepared to say anything to get it. Once he realized I had no money to give and could not benefit him in any materialistic way, he angrily got up and walked away, limp-free.
Alone at the table with only my thoughts, I noticed how upset I was. I felt insulted. Until this point I’ve never had a negative experience talking to a homeless person and ignorantly thought each person would be the same. It probably sounds horrible, but I felt like I was doing these people a favor and each person should be grateful for my reaching out. I had to question my motivation at that point. Was I only writing this blog to satisfy my own ego and feel good about myself?
After hours of thinking and reading my previous blog posts over and over, I came to several conclusions. I thoroughly enjoy writing this blog. Meeting new people, figuring out a way to relate to them, and making a connection satisfies something deep inside me and makes me feel alive. I realized my personal agenda is not fueled by self-gratification, but by curiosity, knowledge, and truth. I am not perfect though, and began to notice how judgmental I’ve been acting which is wrong no matter my intentions. I was unknowingly separating myself from the homeless, and that subconscious separation goes against everything I believe in. It’s funny how I often find myself so sure of something only to be slapped in the face with reality and have that "certainty" quickly vanish. My experience with Mike shouldn’t affect my feelings towards any other person, just like all my other encounters shouldn’t make me think all homeless people are simply misunderstood. That unpleasant hour I spent with Mike has strengthened my belief in the importance of looking at the individual and not the stereotype. Learning to view people in such a way is not easy. I’m grateful to have found Mike because without him I may have never learned this valuable lesson.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Wks2hg6PrM
Wow, this was really eye-opening. I'm sure it sounds bad, but I'm really glad too that this happened to show the other side of things. I was definitely mystified by your posts too, but you have to get real sometimes. People are different, and you're right; we can't generalize about the homeless, just like we can't generalize about any other stereotypes. And to that guy: what goes around comes around!
ReplyDeleteGreat post for the usual reasons. The introspection, honesty and overall writing are all great, and it's really nice/rare to see someone who not only says, but really seems to be, "fueled" by truth.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be so quick to judge Mike though.
Maybe he's still disabled by drug use or some other more subtle problem.
It's really hard to not stereotype people in bad ways, but it's even harder to accept that a lot of what we have in life comes down to luck - like the luck of who we are born to.
Maybe Mike was born into a bad family and never had the chances we had. Not to say that gives him license to do whatever he wants, but I just think that's important to keep in mind.
Equality of opportunity is what the American dream is built on, and until that really exists, I think we should look at people's failings in more of a social context.
I liked the song.